A police officer stops a Blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license . She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your stupid act together. Just yesterday you take away my license, and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

The night before a Blonde was supposed to appear in court he met his friend at the pub. Hearing the situation his friend advised him to send the judge some fresh salmon before hand. The next day the man tells his lawyer what his friend had told him but the lawyer advised him not to do it as they would lose the case as they where already in a difficult position. Later on they end up winning, to the amazement of the lawyer. "Did you send the judge the salmon?" asked the lawyer. "Well, yes" replied the Blonde "but I put the other side's name on it."
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A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead where going to be executed in France by guillotine. The Brunette requested to be executed face up. When the lever was pulled, the blade stopped one inch from her neck. She was released for they believed god had spared her for her bravery. The Redhead requested to be executed face up and it again stopped one inch from her neck, she too was released. The Blonde requested face up as well and just as they were about to pull the lever, the Blonde screamed "Wait! I think I see the problem."

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A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?" The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the sameRalph Lauren Polo Shirts
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manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall,
she drove to K-Mart.

* Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

* Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the request of the course owner.

* It is considered outstanding performance,Newest Coach women's handbag comfortable coffee
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time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

* The course owner will be the sole judge as to who is the best player.

* Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at a given course. Additional assessments may be levied by the course owner, and the rules are subject to change. For this reason many players prefer to continue to play several different courses.

What do you call an afghan virgin
Mever bin laid on

How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?


A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
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Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur
A lickalotopis

A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"

A King had to leave his Kingdom for some business. He was afraid that his only Daughter would be taken advantage of by some of the Guards because she was a very deep sleeper. So before he left, he slipped a razor blade between the lips of her vagina.
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The King left. That night, three of the Guards did plan to Fuck the Princess.

The First Guard went into her room. From outside of the room, the other two Guards listened. Suddenly, they heard the First Guard scream. He came out. The other two Guards asked why he screamed. Embarrassed, he said that it was so good that he couldn't control himself. This made the other two smile.