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 Asunto: A Texas Department
NotaPublicado: Dom Jul 11, 2010 8:46 am 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 368
A Texas Department of Water representative stopped at a ranch and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher,Ed Hardy Belts
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Specials 'I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation.'

The old rancher said, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.'

The Water representative said, 'Mister, I have the authority

of the Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am

allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions

asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'

The old rancher nodded politely and went about his chores.

Later, the old rancher heard loud screams and saw the Water Rep running

for the fence and close behind was the rancher's bull. The bull was gaining on the

Water Rep with every step.

The Rep was clearly terrified, so the old rancher immediately

ran to the fence and shouted out.....

Your card! Show him your card!'

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 Asunto: According to the newspaper reported in anhui province,
NotaPublicado: Mar Jul 13, 2010 10:13 pm 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 368
According to the newspaper reported in anhui province, and for taking bribes developers JiangCa developers to excessive instigate a homeowner drinks resident family found himself (pesticides, hospital in a vegetative state),Discount Christian Louboutin
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April 19, anhui province, fuyang city states vice district CaoYingZhang ying ying county court on, to abuse and taking bribes sentenced him to 11 years.

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 Asunto: The cop came up to him
NotaPublicado: Sab Jul 17, 2010 12:44 am 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 368
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
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The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

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 Asunto: Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one
NotaPublicado: Dom Jul 25, 2010 4:16 pm 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 368
Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official
accompanying the astronauts said, "Why certainly!" and told an underling
to get a tape recorder.

The Navajo elder's comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA
official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. The
son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to
translate.
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So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village, and played it
for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly. but also
refused to translate the elder's message to the moon. An official government
translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing, the translator
relayed the message the elder wanted sent to the moon:
"WATCH OUT FOR THESE ASSHOLES. THEY HAVE COME TO STEAL YOUR LAND."

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 Asunto: hearing the conversation on
NotaPublicado: Mié Jul 28, 2010 2:43 pm 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 368
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it? The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
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A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porsche, it's a Lexus."

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 Asunto: the antique watch
NotaPublicado: Vie Jul 30, 2010 2:15 pm 
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Registrado: Jue Jul 29, 2010 6:45 am
Mensajes: 114
the antique watch day shuttle to showcase China's, let the customer to further understand that day shuttle this brand of history, let them not only know, Vacheron Constantin


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 Asunto: What do you call a fish with no eyes
NotaPublicado: Vie Ago 20, 2010 5:50 pm 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 368
A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...

Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no
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Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"

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 Asunto: What does it look like
NotaPublicado: Dom Ago 22, 2010 1:18 pm 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 368
Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a tool is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my tool?"

Elephant replies "What does it look like?"
Lion: "Well it's got four points on it"
Elephant: "Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse"
So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my tool?"
Mouse: "What does it look like?"UGG Handbags Sale
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Lion: "Well it's got four points on it."
Mouse: "Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc."
So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my tool"
Croc: "What does it look like?"
Lion: "Well it's got four points on it."
Croc: "Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar"
So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my tool?"
Jaguar: "Of course, I ate it."
Lion: "Why did you do that?"
Jaguar: "Well I'm a four point tool eater Jaguar"

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