A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill your order! When his waitress arrives,Bottega Veneta
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In a check out line the other day and the couple were arguing about whose turn it was to pay.

The clerk was kind of listening until she heard the lady said to the guy, Dior handbag old style Designer coffee
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"Stop being a scrote."

With a furrowed brow the clerk asked, "What is a scrote?"

Without missing a beat the lady responded, "Short for scrotum. He is somewhere between a prick and an asshole."

What Company is this?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

*29 have been accused of spousal abuse

*7 have been arrested for fraud

*19 have been accused of writing bad checks

*117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

*3 have done time for assault

*71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

*14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

*8 have been arrested for shoplifting
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*21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

*84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.

Can you guess which organization this is?


Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress - the same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

One day a Blonde guy went to the doctor and said that he thought he was turning into a women. So the doctor gave him a thorough examination and afterwards said "It seems to me that you are still a healthy man, Why do you think your turning into a woman?" "Because" said the Blonde "I keep getting these letter's that say 'Dear Sir or Madam'"

"Tell me" said the psychiatrist "do you stir your tea with your left hand or your right hand" "Neither" said the Blonde "I use a spoon."
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Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and the mumps?
A: Not everyone
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A: She blew it both times.

Q: How do you get a Blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her that she's pregnant.

Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there."Nashville Predators apparel
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A bear is sitting in the middle of a forest taking the biggest shit of his life and feeling dam good about it.

He looks down and sees a rabbit dumping a load right next to him. The bear looks at the rabbit and says, "Hey, uhh Mr. Rabbit, uhh do you have a problem withthe shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit shakes his head no and says, "Nope, never bothers me."
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The bear says, "Good!" takes the rabbit and wipes his ass with him and then tosses him aside.