"Nope, no phones 'round these parts." Florida Panthers
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New Jersey DevilsThe farmer looked up at the sky just as the man noticed it was getting darker. "Well, I guess...ya can stay here for 'da night. 'Dat is if you likes."

for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" The Blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

A Blonde got a job working at a bottle plant pasting the sticker's to the bottle's and put a sticker on the bottom of every bottle "Open other end".

One day a Blonde put a tin on her desk marked "For the blind". When she finally collected enough money she went out and bought a blind for her office window.
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Q: What important question does a Blonde ask her mate before having sex?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?

Q: Did you hear about the new epidemic among Blondes?
A: It's called MAIDS, if the don't get one, they die.

Male Secretary: "Feel free to use my dictaphone."
New Blonde Employee: "No thanks, I'll just use my finger like everyone else."

THE POINTS SYSTEM

For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
happy.New York Rangers
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Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes
and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry,
that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system

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This is the tail of Daniel Morgan,
Who had a tiny sexual organ,
It was just one inch when fully reared,
When lying down it disappeared.
It was just by chance they called him Danny,
Half an inch less they?d have called him fanny,
It gave his girlfriends such a shock,
When they put their hands on his tiny cock,
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One day Dan read in the daily mail that things called falsies were on sale,
For women who had tiny breasts they wore these things inside their vests,
Now Dan said ?I'm no fool, why can?t I make a big false tool?
So he worked all night to make a shopper,
And he ended up with a great big whopper,
It was twelve inches long and made of plastic,
And would stretch any girls fanny, like elastic,
It really was a lovely job and on the end was a big red knob,
He tied it up with lots of twine and it really did look rather fine,
Lying there beneath his pants,
It looked just like an elephants.