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 Asunto: Monkey Organization
NotaPublicado: Mar Jun 29, 2010 4:12 pm 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 329
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.
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Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

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 Asunto: Ugliest Kid Ever
NotaPublicado: Mar Jun 29, 2010 4:13 pm 
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Ugliest Kid Ever
I was walking home last night whencheap ed hardy women windbreaker sale
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I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"

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 Asunto: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play
NotaPublicado: Sab Jul 03, 2010 12:26 am 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
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LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instuctor.
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LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

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 Asunto: Christmas and all in the hood
NotaPublicado: Sab Jul 03, 2010 12:27 am 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 329
'Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood, Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good.
The tube socks was hung on the window sill and we all had smiles up on our grill.
Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib in the back bedroom, cuz that's how we live.
And Moms in her do-rag and me with my nine, had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine.
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All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by, Bumpin' phat beats cuz the system's fly.
I bounced to the window at a quarter pas' 'Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's ass!
well anyway....

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 Asunto: Please prepare a
NotaPublicado: Sab Jul 03, 2010 12:27 am 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 329
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.


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 Asunto: Jodie went into a Westend cafe
NotaPublicado: Mar Jul 06, 2010 9:30 am 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 329
Jodie went into a Westend cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream covered with chocolate and nuts.
"Would you like a cherry on the top?" asked the waitress.Ugg Ultra Short Boots
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"No, thanks," said Jodie, "I'm on a diet."

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 Asunto: the bartender had never seen anything like that before
NotaPublicado: Mar Jul 06, 2010 9:30 am 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
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Well, the bartender had never seen anything like that before, but he has to make good on the wager, so he makes a martini and sets it before the drunk. He then puts a napkin next to the drink and sets a turtle on it.
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"What's this," says the drunk.

"That's a prize for such fine dart throwing," says the bartender.

The drunk drinks his martini, picks up the turtle, puts it in his coat pocket, and leaves.

Well, the next night, the same drunk goes into the same bar. Again, he is hopelessly inebriated; totally faced.

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 Asunto: is Microsoft's scheme
NotaPublicado: Mar Jul 06, 2010 9:31 am 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 329
Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"

And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,

As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
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And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright,
Have a Microsoft Christmas, and to all a good night.

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 Asunto: Apparently since the death of her multi millionaire husband
NotaPublicado: Mar Jul 06, 2010 9:31 am 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 329
Apparently since the death of her multi millionaire husband, Anna N has been fighting to get some of hubby's cash which her son-in-law doesn't want to give to her. The trial was long and tedious and finally came to an end when Anna decided she would take it to another court room.authentic Atlanta Hawks jerseys
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Atlanta Hawks Give it a rest. If you want the money go look for another 80 year old millionaire lying on his death bed and make sure that he signs the will in front of you this time round.

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 Asunto: A mother
NotaPublicado: Mié Jul 07, 2010 11:06 am 
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Registrado: Mié Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am
Mensajes: 329
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies,New Orleans Saints
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